Tag Archive: self awareness


empath2

I’ve been going through a breakup this month….a breakup with a 20 year old habit. As I break up with the one – replete with the on-again and off-again qualities that we’ve all experienced around breaking up with people, I’m examining other old habits as well.

It really doesn’t matter what the habit is – it can be self-judgment, a particular view of or relationship with food/alcohol/caffeine, procrastination – it does not matter what form the habit takes. It isn’t necessarily a ‘negative’ or ‘unhealthy’ habit either – this is about examination of and opening up to ways that may serve our souls more deeply and allow us to serve the world more expansively.

What I’m loving about this process is the level of examination that is taking place. None of it goes as deeply as you may imagine – which is the beauty of this.

I arrived at this place, out of the blue really, but certainly while listening to my intuition. I noticed when I went to engage with this habit, somewhere around the end of January, my desire/motivation/attitude towards this behavior felt different to me. I’m a big ‘feeler’, you see, being a strong Empath (go here for more information on being an Empath https://energyintuit.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/empathy-vs-intuitive-or-psychic-empathy/)

What I began to do then, was to treat these shifted feelings as new friends and turn them over like fall leaves deserving much attention for their vibrancy and color. Simply observe them and then move on to new feelings that came with those and do the same.

I stayed out of analysis and judgment of me, my habit, my relationship to my habit – I merely observed it all as if I was getting to know a new person whom I knew nothing about.

As I really listened and watched, I learned that the absence of this habit – or the prospect of its absence, allowed for some beautiful spaces in my life and being to allow other things to take root. To allow other emotions, other high-vibrational states of being and feeling good, room for other intuitive messages to pop through.

I read recently that if we aren’t losing friends then we aren’t growing. I would re-frame it to say that if we aren’t changing our relationships to friends, habits, the world then we aren’t growing. We aren’t meant to stay in stagnant relationship to anything or anyone – we are meant to grow and change and evolve as spirits in human bodies.

You might examine a breakup with an old way for yourself. Get quiet, tune into your intuition and see what comes up in your life as wanting attention. It may be that some of your ways are up for transformation vs. an ending. Check it out. Enjoy the process!

Befriending Ourselves

How do you befriend yourself?

A friend brightened my doorstep the other day, wanting compassion and advice. Not overtly so, but it became clear to us both once we were in each other’s company that this was what was needed.

She proceeded to talk about how she’s been feeling about a situation and I listened. I heard her and asked her permission to offer advice. I showed compassion, understanding and love for her.
We enjoyed our time together and said our goodbyes.

After our time together I found myself considering this concept of friendship. More so, how is it that we befriend others in such deep, kind ways, yet often neglect ourselves? I mean, do I listen to Me and hear Me in ways that are loving? Do I ask permission of Me to give Me advice and do I then show Me compassion, understanding and love?

How is it that we become so adept and skilled at being friends to others, yet often forget to give to ourselves in this way?

Let’s think of how our worlds may look different if we were to be our own, best friends…

What if we no longer beat ourselves up? What if we chose to say kind things to ourselves when we were feeling down? What if we chose to bestow small, surprise gifts to ourselves? Conduct random acts of kindness for our own lives every-once-in-awhile as opposed to always for others? What would our kids learn from us if we demonstrated this level of befriending to ourselves?

Maybe people would live more in alignment with who they are. Maybe people would value themselves more and feel their worth intrinsically. Could it be that if we feed ourselves love first, and then others that we would have more love to give?
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This question popped across my social media feed today and caused pause in me. What better checking question? I mean, to ask myself, “Self, are you acting in and being in ways that when you encounter you, you enjoy you?”

Don’t get me wrong, I am much more me in the past few months than I’ve ever been. I feel like Angela has come out of the closet! I get to be and feel me, in all that I do, regardless of what the rest of the world may think. The beauty of being a soul-centered entrepreneur means embracing the responsibility, privilege and duty to align with me and what turns me on. Then sharing it with the world. Living what lights me up. Participating in what exhausts me in joyful ways like a day of hiking, kayaking or skiing may send me to bed as tired as a toddler! I’m thrilled that what turns me on, also serves others – me being in service as a channel for Spirit, my guidance to those seeking guidance and gentle teaching from me, its this beautifully synergistic relationship with Clients & the world around me that feeds me.

So I’m good on the life purpose bit, with regard to liking me if I met, me. On personality & personal habits – I do consider this. I’m a firm believer in being whom I want to attract into my world – with regard to friends, lovers, colleagues and the like. It’s less about: if my prospective partner had an unsavory habit, would I accept & love him? It’s more of: Can and do I wholly love me, unsavory bits and all?

You see if I can wholly love me, warts, personality quirks and all, I’ll attract people who too, know how to love themselves in their entirety. People who know how to be gentle with themselves as opposed to violently cursing their foibles (or some less dramatic version of self-deprecation). As I love me and date me, in ways that affirm my awesomeness, my amazingly creative and fun personality, that recognize that my mercurial mind can be a tad critical at times, I’m not only setting myself up to attract soul-centered people into my life but I’m demonstrating my value of a soul-centered life. I’m choosing to show the world that showing up enthusiastically for me, as me, with a few wrinkles and possibly having finished breakfast on the ride over are more than acceptable. I’d have to say, I like me when I’m being me, not just when I meet me.

And you, m’Loves…would you like you if you met you?