Tag Archive: self love


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I’ve been going through a breakup this month….a breakup with a 20 year old habit. As I break up with the one – replete with the on-again and off-again qualities that we’ve all experienced around breaking up with people, I’m examining other old habits as well.

It really doesn’t matter what the habit is – it can be self-judgment, a particular view of or relationship with food/alcohol/caffeine, procrastination – it does not matter what form the habit takes. It isn’t necessarily a ‘negative’ or ‘unhealthy’ habit either – this is about examination of and opening up to ways that may serve our souls more deeply and allow us to serve the world more expansively.

What I’m loving about this process is the level of examination that is taking place. None of it goes as deeply as you may imagine – which is the beauty of this.

I arrived at this place, out of the blue really, but certainly while listening to my intuition. I noticed when I went to engage with this habit, somewhere around the end of January, my desire/motivation/attitude towards this behavior felt different to me. I’m a big ‘feeler’, you see, being a strong Empath (go here for more information on being an Empath https://energyintuit.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/empathy-vs-intuitive-or-psychic-empathy/)

What I began to do then, was to treat these shifted feelings as new friends and turn them over like fall leaves deserving much attention for their vibrancy and color. Simply observe them and then move on to new feelings that came with those and do the same.

I stayed out of analysis and judgment of me, my habit, my relationship to my habit – I merely observed it all as if I was getting to know a new person whom I knew nothing about.

As I really listened and watched, I learned that the absence of this habit – or the prospect of its absence, allowed for some beautiful spaces in my life and being to allow other things to take root. To allow other emotions, other high-vibrational states of being and feeling good, room for other intuitive messages to pop through.

I read recently that if we aren’t losing friends then we aren’t growing. I would re-frame it to say that if we aren’t changing our relationships to friends, habits, the world then we aren’t growing. We aren’t meant to stay in stagnant relationship to anything or anyone – we are meant to grow and change and evolve as spirits in human bodies.

You might examine a breakup with an old way for yourself. Get quiet, tune into your intuition and see what comes up in your life as wanting attention. It may be that some of your ways are up for transformation vs. an ending. Check it out. Enjoy the process!

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Energetic Discernment

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*This piece is inspired by an article I recently read on energetic vampires along with some personal situations that bring this topic front-of-mind.

 

Recalling the adage, “Actions speak louder than words”, I’m offering a twist on this and positing that energy speaks louder than words or actions. At least louder in a sense of energy carrying even more weight to read and/or listen to in our personal interactions.  Energy can have more of an effect on us because it can be less obvious to us, therefore something we may take less responsibility for.

 

Take for example a feeling of tiredness after leaving the mall.  Or the feeling of being blue after having stood near someone while waiting for your latte to be made.  We may not take the time to discern that these are energetic drains and something that we can take responsibility for.  This, over the long haul can have ill effects on us emotionally, intellectually, spiritually and physically. 

 

All things are comprised of energy in action/motion. Quantum physics & metaphysics spreads this term/apply this term to everything – thoughts are energy, human bodies are energy, emotions are energy, trees are energy etc., all with varying rates of vibration.  This rate at which we vibrate is our vibrational rate and/or our energy signature.

 

Whether you’ve paid attention to date to ‘energy’ or not – you experience it through your emotions as well as via physical sensations.  Joy, exuberance, love, ecstasy, peace, contentment, fulfillment, open-hearted and physically relaxed and expansive states are all positive energy states.  Constriction, anger, tension, sadness are all less positive or more negative states on the spectrum of how we as humans experience energy.  If you’ve ever walked into a room after someone has had an argument, been in a busy store or intersection where chaos prevails, or felt that beautiful level of heart connection with another, you’ve experienced the energy of places, people and situations.

 

There is talk and are posts and teaching on ‘energy vampires’ – those negative people, places, habits and situations that seem to either suck positive energy from us or imbue us with an imbalance of negative energy.  If you’ve ever left someone’s company with a headache, felt tired after leaving a location or group of people, felt restless and anxious with either a certain person or situation in mind – you’ve fallen prey to an ‘energy vampire’.

 

An important component of Energy Discernment is first a level of awareness of our energy.  Take some time to sort out who and what are positive and negative energy sources in your life.  realization/recognition, close cousins of awareness in this context, are a next level of this – once we are in that situation that we’re aware of we pay attention to what goes on energetically within us and around us.

 

The final important phase in Energy Discernment will be action.  This involves a level of personal accountability and responsibility to our own energy and those around us.  In fact, as we move through awareness and realization/recognition – we may have determined that we are the negative forces in some relationships and situations!  So action can mean cleaning up how we are as we approach people, situations and places. 

 

Our energy body is the first place that ill health shows up.  If not attended to, it moves into our physical body.  A high level of personal responsibility for our energy and energy body will keep us, those around us, and our communities more healthy. 

I consider energy more potent than words or actions for these reasons.  As we are putting energy discernment into action, paying attention to our words and actions become a natural part of this energy discernment honing process.

 

Let’s use an example common to all of our lives.  When you ask someone, “How are you?” they often and often automatically respond with, “Fine.” Or “I’m good.”  The language they’ve chosen has a certain meaning.  If you look a bit further, at say their body language to equate ‘action’ behind the word here – they may be prone on the bed, slumped in their chair, or even tearful.  Their body language or ‘action’ behind the word seems to speak more accurately to how they are.  Let’s look further at the energy that you detect from this situation.  Does it feel ‘fine’?  When they respond with, “I’m good.” do you feel something differently – a knot in your stomach, a heaviness in your chest, a light-headedness that belies what they are saying?  Are you sensing anxiety vs. calm?  Do you feel a static in the air that doesn’t correlate to what they are saying?  These latter sensations, how you feel and what you sense in response to what they are saying are your awareness and realization/recognition of energy discernment.  Action then in this example, can take a few forms.  You can work on relaxing any tense feelings in your body.  You can ask a more probing question to try to help this person and yourself relieve any negatives energy, or you can say no more and move along – removing yourself from the situation.

 

How we take action can feel tricky.  When we encounter someone who is lying to us – saying and acting physically in line with what they are saying but the energy feels mildly misaligned, or it may feel grossly dissonant – these can leave us wondering how to take action. I had a close friend who when they spoke of a particular part of their life it was all ‘positive excitement and smiles’.  Sometimes it was angry words with smiles.  Always there was an energy that was angry whether the words were positive or negative.  There came a point when it didn’t seem that they had an awareness of the amount of negative energy that they were generating nor the deeper sense of anger that it reflected in their energy and physical bodies.  I chose to take action in this energy discernment process by communicating from a compassionate place, my care for the person and for me.  I asked them to raise their awareness around their own actions and to no longer share this with me.  In turn, I took responsibility for my own energy and shielded and discarded the negative more frequently.  What I didn’t realize (yes, even as a professional Psychic), was that they were lying to themselves.  The person was denying how deeply they were creating this angry environment on all levels. 

 

It was not received well and ultimately my action involved leaving the friendship.  While this may seem extreme it became an imperative when I recognized how poorly I felt in it and how much better I felt out of it.  I also realized in retrospect where I hadn’t taken action in the past in less drastic ways, where now I will when faced with this type of scenario.

 

I also learned that the action I took was a boundary breach – an impediment of that person’s spiritual journey.  We are all here to work out our own issues in this lifetime.  How we become aware, recognize and act around them are individual decisions.  I realize that anytime I choose to speak more deeply about someone’s journey, whether from a compassionate place or not—it’s an infraction and disrespectful.  Our best approach is to keep our own energy accounted for and move along when we encounter dissonance with and within another.  This goes both ways so when you encounter someone breaching your boundaries, pull your energy inward and move along as you see fit. 

 

Ways that we can take action when we recognize negative energy affecting us:

 

·      Breathe deeply to relax our physical body

·      Ask ourselves whether what we are feeling is necessary, ours and asked for it to be released

·      Imagine an egg shaped cloud (our aura) around us filling with pink light of love

·      Do anything physical to raise our vibration—dance, rub our hands together, clap, sing, walk, move…

·      Blow energetic kisses to the person how is down/low/negative

·      Imagine energetic hugs going to them (if not in their presence)

·      Hug or high five the lower energy-ed person

·      Leave the room, conversation, exchange, place, etc.

·      Change the conversation

·      Shift our thinking

 

You are the best and only judge of your energy and its role in your journey. I hope you’ll choose to incorporate energy discernment into your journey!

Befriending Ourselves

How do you befriend yourself?

A friend brightened my doorstep the other day, wanting compassion and advice. Not overtly so, but it became clear to us both once we were in each other’s company that this was what was needed.

She proceeded to talk about how she’s been feeling about a situation and I listened. I heard her and asked her permission to offer advice. I showed compassion, understanding and love for her.
We enjoyed our time together and said our goodbyes.

After our time together I found myself considering this concept of friendship. More so, how is it that we befriend others in such deep, kind ways, yet often neglect ourselves? I mean, do I listen to Me and hear Me in ways that are loving? Do I ask permission of Me to give Me advice and do I then show Me compassion, understanding and love?

How is it that we become so adept and skilled at being friends to others, yet often forget to give to ourselves in this way?

Let’s think of how our worlds may look different if we were to be our own, best friends…

What if we no longer beat ourselves up? What if we chose to say kind things to ourselves when we were feeling down? What if we chose to bestow small, surprise gifts to ourselves? Conduct random acts of kindness for our own lives every-once-in-awhile as opposed to always for others? What would our kids learn from us if we demonstrated this level of befriending to ourselves?

Maybe people would live more in alignment with who they are. Maybe people would value themselves more and feel their worth intrinsically. Could it be that if we feed ourselves love first, and then others that we would have more love to give?
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This question popped across my social media feed today and caused pause in me. What better checking question? I mean, to ask myself, “Self, are you acting in and being in ways that when you encounter you, you enjoy you?”

Don’t get me wrong, I am much more me in the past few months than I’ve ever been. I feel like Angela has come out of the closet! I get to be and feel me, in all that I do, regardless of what the rest of the world may think. The beauty of being a soul-centered entrepreneur means embracing the responsibility, privilege and duty to align with me and what turns me on. Then sharing it with the world. Living what lights me up. Participating in what exhausts me in joyful ways like a day of hiking, kayaking or skiing may send me to bed as tired as a toddler! I’m thrilled that what turns me on, also serves others – me being in service as a channel for Spirit, my guidance to those seeking guidance and gentle teaching from me, its this beautifully synergistic relationship with Clients & the world around me that feeds me.

So I’m good on the life purpose bit, with regard to liking me if I met, me. On personality & personal habits – I do consider this. I’m a firm believer in being whom I want to attract into my world – with regard to friends, lovers, colleagues and the like. It’s less about: if my prospective partner had an unsavory habit, would I accept & love him? It’s more of: Can and do I wholly love me, unsavory bits and all?

You see if I can wholly love me, warts, personality quirks and all, I’ll attract people who too, know how to love themselves in their entirety. People who know how to be gentle with themselves as opposed to violently cursing their foibles (or some less dramatic version of self-deprecation). As I love me and date me, in ways that affirm my awesomeness, my amazingly creative and fun personality, that recognize that my mercurial mind can be a tad critical at times, I’m not only setting myself up to attract soul-centered people into my life but I’m demonstrating my value of a soul-centered life. I’m choosing to show the world that showing up enthusiastically for me, as me, with a few wrinkles and possibly having finished breakfast on the ride over are more than acceptable. I’d have to say, I like me when I’m being me, not just when I meet me.

And you, m’Loves…would you like you if you met you?